Making someone else happy

This piece was posted on Kilby's facebook. I share it with you here in case you cannot open this link.

More than useless

Sometimes the most fulfilling experiences are the tiny moments when you can brighten someone else's day. It's especially fulfilling when you look back and realize that you couldn't have done so without having been through the often frustrating, seemingly meaningless difficulties that crowd your life. And most of the time, those fulfilling moments have no significant place in the grander scheme of things. That's part of the reason they can be so fulfilling.

I was taking a walk at the same time the garbage was being picked up. At one point, ahead of me I saw two men standing on the side of the road, talking. One was clearly much older, and as I watched them I became aware they must be at least well acquainted, if not related. The garbage truck passed them, and then stopped-- it seemed they were talking to the driver. All of us converged as their conversation was ending, and the older man turned and addressed me as "ma'am."

I stopped and removed one of my earphones. The younger man made a move to stop him from speaking to me, but he asked anyway, "Do you know what's going on around here?" and then said something else which I thought included the word "building."

As soon as he'd looked at me I knew what was going on. Alzheimer's. I repeated back what I thought had been his question, and surreptitiously winked at his very uncomfortable companion. At that his face changed, surprised and relieved that I understood, and doing a double-take, he winked back.

The old man, frustrated, said something to the effect that I probably didn't care, after all.

"Well, I don't know," I explained, "I'm pretty new around here."

"Thanks anyway," he said.

"Sure!" And I kept walking.

The younger man's face had been priceless, and I started to think how nice it would be for someone to not only understand, but handle well, the often misunderstood and mishandled problem of dementia. I know when my aunt starts talking to people, I always wonder what she'll say, and usually it's frustrating to watch her confuse the people around her, and not be able to correct her. People who don't know what dementia looks like are often taken in, so to speak, or at least awkwardly don't know how to react.

And then I realized that I couldn't have made it easier for the old man's companion if I hadn't gone through what I have with first my grandfather and now my great aunt. I've learned the hard way exactly what Alzheimer's looks and acts and talks like, and what not to do or say in response. And so because of that, I was able to make someone's job easier and cheer him up considerably, in the space of about twenty seconds.

The most fulfilling thing in the world is making someone else happy.