Letter to Kilby March 21, 2009

Dear Kilby. Dad told me your own thoughts last night which confirm mine: that you and I are made differently enough that you might do better at this job than I. (Yet I blaze a trail!) Your sense of the absurd, your strength of will, your philosophic bent will help you. But do not be proud, for this will still be a very hard job.* To interface with selfishness & immaturity & godlessness & dementia, oh my. For their sakes, I would say that you should enter their structure, studying & watching ways to achieve order & safety & health apart from & before & after their lifelong, probably unchangeable, habits. Change can come, perhaps, but slowly. This is a servant's job. But you are a slave of righteousness. And may God use this season for you to depend utterly on Him & His grace.

I believe you will enjoy your little garden room. I'm up at dawn & am enjoying the birds singing. Keep their schedule in order to serve them (which will just about keep you on EST) & you will enjoy the dawn & the rest of the nights. They are still asleep. It amazes me that they go to bed by 8 & sleep till 7! But it gives me much time to myself.

This morning I hope to reclaim the room in the recesses that don't show so much from the doorway. Demented Gloria stopped at my (your) door yesterday & scowled & tried to argue about why the room looked so bad. My explanations didn't comfort much; just my promise that I'd get to it. She has no idea how much I'm doing on her behalf! I was comforted on my walk yesterday by the memory of the woman in the hospital who told me regarding my father that in Alzheimer's their is no logic. May God give you winsomeness & wisdom to divert & satisfy while being committed to truth.

There is a 1.6 mile circuit Coyote Road to Hidden Valley Drive to Valley Ranch Circle to Coyote Road again that makes me labor up a hill near the beginning & small ones in the middle & at the end.

You will most certainly struggle with nosebleeds for awhile. So hydrate yourself well & research if there is a good way to moisturize your sinus passages.

If your back can't take this bed (I slept better the 2nd night) we could buy a new one--but all the change distresses the women. Make changes subtly, slowly, privately. I suggested to Dad a bunkbed so two could sleep. He said not yet.

Much love,
Mom

*I even thought yesterday of calling the whole thing off! The spiritual warfare is intense. The demons mock. May they be mocked by God Himself as He pours out His grace upon our family.