Late afternoon coffee break

As my mostly-decaf latte espresso dripped, being quiet in my soul because of the long-traveled grooves of my life, I looked across to the windows of the dining room, almost tasting the silky blues and browns the afternoon light was making of the room, the green palms dancing outside the cherry wood blinds. Kilby will be married in that corner, probably. Kilby and Paul. How God keeps blessing us!

Just finished chopping leftover broccoli stalks and almost-too-late-to-use "baby" carrots for tonight's dinner of chicken stir-fry. I'm almost too tired and sleepy to write. With countless tasks, but none pressing and dinner coming later tonight than usual for various work schedules, I have a moment to rest, to sip a very good coffee, maybe to stretch out and close my eyes.

My drawing table is in that corner where Kilby will be married. I'll move it into the garage for the week. Before then I have a wedding dress to make and a woman's retreat to attend and a son to send to Africa and a vacation to take with my husband. And a few other things.

This afternoon, seeing a photo of a friend and her daughter I wished that I could spend my life just painting beautiful paintings of the saints around me, those the love of whom fills my heart. I still have a wedding present to finish and I've had several big dreams since I quit painting two or three months ago for life that gets in the way: Peter's surgery, Paul's visit, Grace's surgery, reorganizing the house (There's a job that will never get done, yet I keep making small progresses). Meals and laundry and the cycle of the weeks.

I've never expected to live past child-rearing. My mom didn't. But today I have a small curiosity that is almost a hope that I will get done with the next full years of graduations and weddings and grandbaby announcements and can begin my days painting instead of meeting sons at the mechanic's garage or sorting through medical insurance papers or reviewing wedding dresses online.

I don't want to miss any of that. I didn't ever think about how fast it would come, how overwhelming even just physically, when your seven kids came in just eleven years. I may end up being a good mother for older children and married children because I am so busy that I don't have time to manage anyone's life very much. I'm content with that. And I don't want to miss each of these precious people as they mature and blossom.

Funny that old age approaches at the same time, making me slow down. I don't know how to slow down. Except for coffee breaks...