Multiplication and Thy Kingdom Come; thoughts for Jordan and for me

Came up to write out thoughts on John 12 and 13, when my cousin called. I haven't spoken with her since her mother's death and her daughter's wedding last month. We spent almost an hour catching up, as well as encouraging one another with the truths of the Word that we better understand as our lives unfold. The interruption in my intention to write only adds more illustration of the scriptures I'd noticed.

Jesus, telling His disciples that He would be with them only a little while longer, said "You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, 'Where I am going, you cannot come,' so now I say to you. A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

My mother died at age sixty-three. The first of my seven children, her second grandson, was just eight-months old. She would not attend the weddings of four more of her children and she would never meet the other twenty-four grandchildren. Not in this life anyway.

I keenly missed my mom. She was one of only two godly women I knew who had raised a large family according to the Scriptures. Now, as I began my family, I wanted her help so badly. I wrote the other woman for encouragement when my fourth child was born. Sixty-or maybe seventy-something Mrs. Taylor responded: "Of course you miss your mother, you always will. I still miss mine." Then she went on to encourage me in raising kids.

Perhaps my mom's cancer and early death were a result of the drugs she took to save my life. Perhaps she could have taken better care of herself by having fewer children, by ministering less to others. These are speculations. What is certain, is that she left a legacy: my eight believing siblings. In times of reconnecting, whether through reunion, or by phone chats, I began to learn more of my mom than I had known, began to see her in my brothers and sisters, began to be strengthened in her absence by what she had planted them.

And this is where the other passage comes in. "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If  anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor."

But there's another lesson I saw in the John 12 passage. "Now there were certain Greeks among those who came up to worship at the feast. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida of Galilee, and asked him, saying, 'Sir, we wish to see Jesus.' Philip came and told Andrew, and in turn Andrew and Philip told Jesus."

I imagine their excitement to see the Greeks interested in their teacher. Surely this was a fabulous door opening for the spread of Christ's message! I also imagine their puzzlement when Jesus turned away their request: "'The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies..."

My mom could not have known all the different paths the lives of her children would take, nor how the things she taught us would take root and bear fruit. As I sat alone in my big house absorbing these two chapters, my thoughts often wandering distractedly to the concerns of this present life, the lives of my children, I was comforted to recognize that I can't know the paths my children's lives will take. I, a sinner, have often failed my family, but in God's providence we have instructed them in the Word. The Word made flesh Who dwelt among us, was crucified, died, buried, and resurrected, He will continue His work, His life, His beauty. It is His fruit to bear, and He will do it.

My cousin told me about her disappointment that her daughter didn't follow the path my cousin had long-dreamed regarding wedding plans. But I think that helped her to come to see what we all must see: that the lives of our children are theirs, not ours. She also spoke of her mom's quiet and faithful witness through many hard years of marriage, and how it eventually bore fruit in the lives of her own children. She also told me of how my own mother always had time for each of us, even her niece; how when my mother was battling the cancer that took her life she visited Florida and took my cousin out on the beach for a walk and encouraged her in the faith. I bless the Lord for my faithful grandparents, Claude and Ruth, who taught their daughters to walk with God. Those daughters didn't always obey perfectly, but those daughters--our mothers--have borne Christ's image and have sown seeds of His life in us, and in our children; may He be glorified through all generations to come.

There is also some comfort pondering Christ putting aside the excited hopes of Andrew and Philip in His pursuit of the Father's will--that which looked like failure. Our schemes may not necessarily come to pass, but God's glory will! Jesus left His disciples and told them to love one another as He had loved them. He demonstrated His love by laying down His life. He commands us to follow. That might look like to death to the world. The Father has promised honor.