Saturday, May 10, 2003

Already in bed & so tired but I must get up & write--this is my sacrifice of thanksgiving. What loveliness the LORD has brought me to this week: peace & faith in the midst of turmoil. Just now I see Susan rejoicing over Beth's mock trial victory. Cal has just come in from a date with David & he's making the rounds of prayer with the children. 

We listened to 2 good Skogen sermons today. Then I went to the pool to relax with Cal. Midafternoon I got the Diprima children--after our kids had done the cleaning for Sunday--& took all of them over to the pool. A beautiful clear day w/ big moving clouds but mostly sunny. Dad is much more confused this week. LORD, my heart breaks to see his purposelessness & depression. Seems holed up in his room all day always sleeping. Then downstairs in confusion--talks about things that don't exist. 

This was the week I cleaned Susan's room & read her journal--only 5-6 pp but enough to be both greatly convicted at my own sin and greatly encouraged at her discernment. I took her to Las Vegas for dessert on Tues night to discuss it all--to apologize for what she sees as cynicism. I am recognizing it as simply unbelief. 

In one of Kevin's sermons today (Josh 5), he spoke of getting our eyes off of our sin and putting them on Christ & His work. These are good words for me. Cal is teaching through Romans. These are good words for me. And God is giving me grace to trust Him, Him alone, for the success & beauty of my children as saints. I fret or worry more than I don't, but with grace comes glimpses of their health & grace. Last night when Cal & I came in from dinner at the Grimes', there they were, the five eldest, sitting around the family room enjoying an album of PDQ Bach together. 

O Father, thank You for it all. For the great salvation of Jesus Christ down to the daily strength & health You provide. For the beauty of Florida weather & skies to the wonderful preaching we hear. Please, I am reminded, when I think how we've come to this, of the grace You provided long before our marriage to give ourselves to You. Matthew 6:33. Father, help us somehow to teach Your worship to other parents who want to emulate us. The blessing of our children is just the icing on the cake--the blessing that follows obedience that follows the fear & worship of God. Thank You for the wonderful week of reading church history with the kids. Thank You for the insights, however sad, into life at _____ that we have rec'd this week through sermons, relationships, history, conversations. Thank You for the encouragement that You are about the building of Your Church, the beautifying of the Bride. Please make us humble as we wait on Your pleasure. You have put us here & it is often puzzling to us. But thank You that now it no longer seems so upside down--thank You for the grace to accept Your Providence, however puzzling. Thank You for the encouragement to wait patiently. Thank You for all the reminders, chiefly from Cal, & Kev's sermons, that faith is not sight & that You Do keep your promises--even when I can't remember them. Please help me to remember Your promises more & more. Please help me to be more & more in the Word--abiding there. It's all I want to do. Thank You for making me thankful. Bless Your day to all of us tomorrow.