Vanity

The girls came in from class Monday night. High and bubbling with understanding. Please help, me my Father, to rejoice with those who rejoice. Please help me not to envy them the education they are getting. Thank you, after all, that You are providing for them the education that I had, but can not pass on to them. But you are giving them greater than I had. And for which I praise You. They are our arrows. They will go farther. Isn't this the way it is to be? Please, the thrill in my heart is alloyed with envy, jealousy, fear that they will leave me behind.

Susan claimed "Dr. G has reshaped my mind". That was putting it a little too strongly, I thought. I don't think the girls know how much their minds have been shaped to hold what he is now giving them. Nor do they know how large is what they know or don't know. They are just now learning. And oh, I am so thankful for it. I couldn't have given them what they are getting. After all, though my education was good (but not as good as theirs, nowhere near as good, what I learned were just seeds that needed to germinate. I always longed for more that connected dots. My intuitive gifts were keen to see the poetry of knowledge), I was a lazy student. So much more I could have learned, but didn't. For I didn't always see the point, which is exactly what we all do now, Kilby, Susan, Cal, and I. The point. I thank God for the education that He is providing the children. Through the Word, through the preachers and teachers of the Word, through the teachers who have been shaped by the Word, whatever their discipline.

I had a conversation with Dr. G this afternoon when I arrived. We talked about the Joseph and Judah book. He gave me four extra copies (to send Laurie, Dave, Jon, and Kevin/Dana). We talked about the story of the Bible, about his aged mother and the similarities to my father, about my daughters and his daughter, about some of the things I have just written. About how our children will go farther than we, how our children will live in a more chaotic world than we (that's another post I could write--which world are we talking about?) I believe that I revealed at the end of the conversation my current weakness when I admitted to a sense of competition that I don't want to have.

We heard a sermon on the Prodigal Son coming in to work. Not by a Sonship proponent this time, but by beloved Kevin Skogen. The main point of which was that our God is a Father Who kisses and runs to meet us when we are repentant. The son is humbled to the point that all he wants is to serve in his father's house. And that is where we should be. And that is where I am. So why this muddy spirit of competition that rises? Self-righteousness? Oh, my daughters, forgive my selfishness, my vanity, my example of not trusting God. May He be pleased to make me as Grandma Douglas, as Pastor Fisher, as Simeon and Anna. How come it is that so many of the Bible's characters did not finish well? What has happened to my sure knowledge and delight in God's sovereign purposes in our lives? I need to reread the life of Amy Carmichael. I need to stop worrying about how I will finish and just get back to service. Right now that means no more blogging, but reading a book for Cal.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Blogs

So I was going to go to bed early tonight. Like nine o'clock. I intended to call Pam to see if they got a contract on their house, but as soon as Becky got off the phone with Amanda she informed me that Penny and Laura had called. Out of duty I called Penny back and then was blessed to help her through some depression about her daughter. But then it was too late to call Pam. But then Paula called. I had meant to call her this morning (after months of not talking to her at all) to tell her of the delicious dream that I woke with of her being all sanctified and telling Dan of the wonderful changes that I could see in her. We had a great conversation to very late. And then Cal called to say they would be home after the girls got out of EE which lasts until ten. So then I caught up on the kids' blogs and man, am I ever thankful for the internet and blogs. How ever would I share all the things my kids think about, or share in their friendships? I am so blessed, so very blessed. I bless the Lord. Now it is late and my husband and daughters are home at last and I am going to bed happy. Bless the Lord.

Gratification

It's nearly lunchtime for the rest of the world. At least for the three little kids that are visiting for the rest of the day. We picked the Thompson boys up on our way home from brunch at Denney's in Ft. Lauderdale where the kids met Cal and me who were up early taking a friend to the hospital for surgery. I am catching up on email and blogs: both Susan and Jeni asked if I'd read theirs this morning. And the kids have quickly settled into a game of hide and seek. I can hear it and the giggling. Now here is where the gratification part comes in: among the giggles I hear DAVID! He got up from his computer work when the Thompson boys arrived and joined in the childish fun. Oh, my. I love these kids. (And I'm going to miss him in a few weeks.)

Just Checking

Okay. It took AJ walking through the room just now to teach me how to post. We turn to working on reassembling their newly painted and carpeted rooms. I'll post something interesting another day. Welcome to my blog.

Hello

Haha, this is Kilby just now, but I'm just posting to test this thing out.
Mom has, I believe, wanted a blog for some time, but not at all actively; but today she whined about not being able to have a picture in the comment box when she commented on my blog, and I explained to her that the only way she could have that is if she had a Blogger account. Well then, in that case...
So I made her this blog. How often she'll use it we have yet to see.

Ta ta!